If you don't want to hear me bitch - don't read this particular post....

Ok, I started this blog for this very reason. 
I'm all fired up, and if I had a traditional diary, I would be writing in it.  Not that I don't love the pen and paper, it's just, I can type much faster than write.

ANYWAY, I belong to a few forums on Juicy Couture charms (JC charms for short).  Usually, they're a wealth of information.  I can find out about all the new charms coming out and coupons and such.  Very helpful information, and I express my gratitude to contributors who can save me money and show me things I wouldn't find otherwise.  These blogs and forums are open to the whole world, and I recognize that there are a lot of different types of people on there with different beliefs.  I try to make a conscious effort to be well spoken and well mannered in mixed company.

Anyone who knows me, knows I don't like conflict so much so, that I try to avoid it at all costs.

Someone on one of my forums today was expressing their dislike of the recent releases of Halloween charms.

I think these 2 are adorable as well as the slice of pumpkin pie pictured in an earlier post.

What I had a problem with, is her saying that Halloween was not a holiday.

"Halloween has become so important to many... Folks are even calling it a holiday! Yard decoration is at an all time high in my neighborhood."

I know that currently I am PMS'ing.  I know that I wear my heart on my sleeve.  I know that I tend to be more emotional than a lot of other women, but it just struck me wrong.

I posted back, "I'm confused.  If Halloween isn't a holiday, then what is it?"

What I implied was for her to give me an adequate word to substitute holiday for.  Something that means the same thing when referring to Halloween night.  Recess isn't right, neither is break.  Celebration is a possibility though.

I expected trouble back from her.

This is what I got for a response later the same day (today)

"Webster's dictionary defines a holiday as a day on which one is exempt from work, which we are not. As to, "Then what is it?" One has to define what Halloween means for herself. For me it's not celebrated so I can't help with that one."

I read that and instantly got enraged.  Ok, not enraged really, aggravated.  Pulling out the Webster's definition was a move that signified to me, that I am incorrect to consider Halloween a holiday.  That she's trying to make me appear foolish or not as smart as her, and in public, no less!  It was a high and mighty snotty post that I cannot ignore.  In the past, I would just sink back and not say anything, but I'm tired of being that meek version of myself.  I have to stand up for what I believe in and what's right, and dammit, if it starts with a post on some stupid charms forum than so be it!

This was my reply,

"For some, Halloween is not celebrated/observed for various reasons and that is their right. For the people that do celebrate it, we consider it a holiday much like Valentine's day, mother's day, father's day, and St. Patrick's day. I like any reason to celebrate and have fun!

I know that these forums and the internet make it easy to be more verbally aggressive anonymously than in real life because you don't have to face the person/group you're talking to, but think about how things might be understood or misunderstood by people before you type them.

I could be very offended right now by the possibility that you're implying that I can't figure out what's a holiday for me personally or not. I could think that you're trying to condescend to me in public, by typing out a formal definition of the word "holiday" to prove how smart you are, or how wrong or ignorant I am.

Just because the United States Government doesn't let me and the rest of the country have a paid day off for Halloween doesn't make it a non-holiday to me. I define a holiday as something that is recognized by the majority of the US population and which is also noted on any year-long calendar you might purchase anywhere across the country. The word holiday really doesn't have anything to do with the government or banks to me."

I wanted to be clear, but not offensive to her.  Try to stay classy about it and not revert to name calling or petty arguments.  I spent an hour thinking of a response.  I could've included the fact that Halloween is the 2nd most popular holiday in the US next to Christmas.  I could've pointed out that Halloween is very special to me because it lets you be a kid again for a day.  You get to eat lots of candy, throw parties with great themes, scare people, be free, have fun, and be whatever you want for one day without judgement from anyone.  It's freeing, it's liberating, and that's why I love it.  Besides the fact that I love decorating for it with spiders, bugs, cobwebs, skulls, and lots of other scary looking decorations. 

I could've pointed out that I know it's not celebrated by a lot of people because they think it has something sinister behind it like devil worship or animal sacrifice.  Well, to be honest, there are a lot of weirdo's out there that DO celebrate it by doing things such as that or more nefarious, but that's something that can be done any day of the week with criminals and cruel souls.

To me, and I think most others that love the holiday, it means letting kids go out and get free candy, having monster parties, and getting out and having some fun.  I belong to some forums JUST for Halloween alone and nothing else.  Lots of people feel just as passionately for Halloween as I do.

I guess if you don't have kids and don't like decorating or giving out freebies, well then, I understand why you wouldn't celebrate it.

At the same time, anyone, religious or not, who doesn't want to celebrate Halloween is well within their rights not to.  It doesn't bother me.  It doesn't hurt my feelings.  I don't take it personally, I just don't want them to tell me not to celebrate it.

What I didn't like about that woman's post is that it felt like a personal attack to me in front of other people.   Reading what she said that I was somehow unable to think for myself; to come to my own conclusions about what to do with my personal holidays.  That I was uneducated and ignorant by pulling out a formal definition and saying well, if you can't figure it out, I don't celebrate it so I can't help you out there.

Just makes me crazy.

I mean, am I wrong about this?  I realize this is just some stranger saying something that really doesn't matter in the scheme of my life, but I don't like being talked down to, ESPECIALLY not in front of an audience.

Holidays are supposed to be fun, and special.  Set aside from other days to recognize something, and there really aren't that many of them to begin with.  Life is too short to treat everyday the same way.  Look for reasons to celebrate, to party, to feel alive.

I don't know.  I've never liked people speaking like they know what's right for all.  That everyone should believe as they do. 

Live and let live, that's what I say.

If this woman had posted something like, "Well, Halloween isn't a National/Bank/Government holiday and I just see it as another day.  Or some people celebrate and some don't." 

I would've understood.  I wouldn't have made a big deal.  I wouldn't have been able to argue with a rational neutral statement like that.

I honestly feel like a lot of people are more bold and disrespectful because they are anonymous on the internet.  You don't have to see the pain or damage you inflict on someone else with your words.  You can be as hateful and mean as you want without having to show your face to anyone.  I just wish people were nice, kind, and thoughtful with each other in real life and on the internet.  I try not to stir up trouble.  I try not to be offensive in real life, or on the internet unless someone is being cruel to me or mine.  I try to keep in mind to treat others as you would like to be treated, I really do.

Maybe I'm just crazy.  Maybe I should've just let it go? 

But that didn't feel right.  I've walked away, a lot, in my past from cruel things said to me and it feels like I shouldn't let people get away with being mean to me anymore.

All this from a charm forum website!  Geez!

Ok, so I feel my gears starting to slow down now.  I'm getting back in control of myself.  I might get banned from participating in this forum if the moderator sees my behavior as antagonistic, but I can still see what's posted.  I just won't be able to write anything and that would be ok with me.  I'll just keep plugging away with you, my dear reader, and speaking my mind here amongst friends.

Thanks for listening to my rant today, I really appreciate it.

And if you think I let this get under my skin wayyyyyy too much, please let me know.  I've gone a couple weeks doing this now and not a single comment on any of my posts yet.  I'm starting to feel unloved : (

Update:  No response from snotty lady nor any moderator.  Just another member telling me to instant message the other woman to avoid drama.

*yawn*

 Update again: July 13th.
The forum had irrepairable damage and lost everything posted after July 8th.  There goes that!