Sucker Punch

Released: 2011
Adventure, Fantasy
Director: Zack Snyder
Starring: Emily Browning, Vanessa Hudgens, Abbie Cornish, and others you've never heard of
Rated: R
Running Time: A crushing 110 minutes

The breakdown:  This movie is so terrible, I can barely review it.
From IMDB.com:
A young girl is institutionalized by her abusive stepfather.  Retreating to an alternative reality as a coping strategy, she envisions a plan which will help her escape from the mental facility.



Oh my gosh this movie stinks to high heaven!
Do you know how I qualify bad films?....if they have lots of music montages.  This movie starts out with the lead actress (what's her name? Never heard of her...Emily Browning?) singing a slow agonizingly bad rendition of The Eurythmics "Sweet Dreams (are made of this.)"  She sounds like a cross between Marilyn Manson and Bjork.  Oh it makes your ears bleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeddddddddd!!!!  Turn it off pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!
Quickly......the mother dies and leaves all her money to her kids, two girls are left with their abusive stepfather.  After he tries (or does it's unclear to me) to rape her younger sister, a blonde only known as Babydoll tries to shoot him.  She aims point blank range and misses him, but I guess accidentally kills her sister.  He has her committed to get the money.  In 5 days time she's going to be lobotomized.  Babydoll then escapes (in her mind) to fantasy world after fantasy world, led by a mysterious stranger, to find five items that will help them all escape the asylum.  Somehow, that's supposed to make sense, but it doesn't.
In the end, she comes out of the fantasy world and gets lobotomized.
THE END.

What a piece of crap!
There's really no plot and certainly no characters (just people saying empty lines.)  There's pretty girls trying to prove their badasses by doing physically impossible action sequences all the time.  THAT does not make a movie....Which reminds me.....how on Earth did this rotten egg ever get green-lit????!!!!!!

This movie is sooooo pointless, and such a complete waste of time, I was angry after I tried watching it.  Granted, I couldn't sit through the whole thing, I actually had to fast forward through a lot of it, but the time I did invest in it, I WANT BACK.

These girls are all dressed like a middle-aged man's fantasy....a school girl, a pilot (of some kind), fishnets, high heels, corsets, underwear, the blonde, the Asian, the brunette, etc.  They are supposed to be fighting with guns, knifes, swords, and all sorts of weapons against things like steam powered NAZIS, dragons, samurais, and cyborgs!!!!  With barely any clothes on?  Come on!
I couldn't make up a worse story if I tried.

I give this a 1/2 stub out of 5 because some of the CG stuff was visually stunning, but the plot was ....wait, did I say plot, what plot?  PLEASE please please.....do NOT see this movie!

PS
Here's my recent review of it on Amazon.com

"You know how when you're walking through the park and the day is beautiful and then you look down and realize you've stepped into a big steaming pile of dog doo?
That's this movie.
I had heard it was terrible, but I thought I might be able to get some laughs from it.  No, not a one.  It was pure agony just to try and sit there while this movie played on my television.
It wasn't entertaining and I'm really glad I didn't pay anything to see it.
There's absolutely no plot.
There's absolutely no characters.  "How can this be?", you ask, I dare you to just try and watch this movie and you'll understand.
In fact, I've seen 30 second commercials that had more meaning to me, and more substance.
I've seen adult movies that had better storylines.
Here's this movie summed up.
A girl gets admitted to a terrible mental ward, that apparently only has female patients, by her evil stepdad to collect the money her recently deceased mother left her.  She's about to have a lobotomy so that she can't tell the police anything about how horrible her stepdad has really been.  She goes off (in her mind) to create a fantasy world where the girls are all strippers and on the side fight off dragons, cyborgs, and steam powered Nazi's in barely any clothes (and certainly no protective armor).  Somehow, this is supposed to relate to getting all the girls out of the mental ward and away from abusive employees.  And somehow this movie is supposed to make sense.  She had the surgery at the end and is comatose.  The end!  Wow, what a great plotless, characterless, piece of cinema crap!!!!
The only good thing I can say about this movie is some of the CG work is fantastic and is beautiful to look at, but it can't save a movie that's missing a plot.
How did this movie ever get green-lit???!!!
DO NOT SEE THIS MOVIE!!!!  The production value is amazing, but there simply is no plot."


Update 7-14-12
I love this little mini-review from Sandy Schaefer at screenrant.com

"Zack Snyder's ambitious attempt to blend his trademark hyper-realistic visuals and rockin' soundtracks with an original storyline that pays homage to Alice in Wonderland (and borrows a few tricks from Inception) certainly looked and sounded like a shiny, female-centric action blockbuster... in early trailers and clips, that is.

Sadly, Sucker Punch ultimately proved unable to coherently address its own existential themes or create interesting (or even discernible) characters; the film's action sequences and set pieces weren't all that thrilling, either. Snyder, by his own admittance, attempted to structure the movie as a meta-commentary on the often-sexualized nature of geek culture; his inability to pull that off resulted in Sucker Punch feeling more like an (inadvertently) exploitative two-hour long music video that isn't nearly as brainy as it fancies itself to be."