I'll share what my day was like, how I learned about the tragedy unfolding and what I think of the world and America today.
I was in my second year of college at ASU. It's a long drive so I had to get up pretty early to make it to class on time. I was living with my folks and the morning was pretty normal for me. I got up, started getting dressed and I was in the bathroom doing my hair with a loud blow dryer when my mom came to the bathroom (the door was open). I turned it off since she wanted to talk to me. She said that the US was under attack. The Pentagon and World Trade Centers had been hit by planes and they were all on fire and then she left. I was confused, certainly my mom had been overreacting or misinformed I thought. It just didn't seem right or even possible. I thought she got some bad information. I hadn't been near a tv or radio all morning while getting ready so I thought I should just continue to get ready. I turned the blow dryer back on and finished my hair and make up.
I finally went into the front room to look at the tv and when I did I saw one World Trade Center building standing and on fire, smoke pouring out into the sky. The other had already collapsed. The news showed the previous tower collapsing minutes before, then the planes hitting each building. I saw the Pentagon on fire, all of it, I had missed actually happening since the East coast is 3 hours ahead of my local time. I was asleep or getting ready for school while the United States was being terrorized. I saw all of the footage, but it didn't sink in. It just couldn't be.
I got my breakfast and listened to my mom talk while we stayed in front of the tv. We saw the last tower go down and still I couldn't grasp anything. I didn't feel anything. I think I was stunned into silence.
I thought school could be cancelled, but probably not, so I better go.
I got into the car and turned on the radio, no music, just news of what was happening. I had to pick up some blueprints on the way. I realized while I was driving that there was no one else on the road really. Just a few cars. No noise, I looked up and saw no planes anywhere, no people along the street. Everything was quiet and empty. I got to the blueprinting shop and picked up my prints. The lady I had dealt with was there, we didn't really mention anything to each other. We were just polite and I left.
Continuing on with my drive, I listened to people calling in saying what they had heard, what happened. Whoever was talking was saying that people had reported getting calls from loved ones on the planes that crashed, saying goodbye and I started crying. The first time that day, but certainly not the last.
I got to school and noticed, at least to me, that it looked half empty. The people that were on campus were very very quiet. They all seemed like ghosts. Everyone seemed to move orderly, quietly, lost in their own thoughts. Myself included. I got to my computer design class and I was only one of a few that showed up. When class was supposed to start my professor, Pepe, stated that his sister worked at the Pentagon and he was trying to reach her. There would be no class today but we were welcome to use the computers. I liked Pepe and felt very bad for him. He was acting erratic, panicked, nervous. There was nothing I could do for him. The blond girl that sat next to me said that she just read on the internet the President made a statement that we would get whoever was responsible for this. We talked a little, but I don't really remember the conversation. She was a really nice girl and I should've made an attempt at friendship with her, but I didn't. I stayed in class all hour and looked on the internet for news. I knew I had a break in between classes that day, but I don't remember for how long or what I did. I do remember walking into one of two of my design buildings and seeing a portable tv on a stand in the center of the lobby. Kids were gathered around it and I stood with them for a while watching the images that still haunt all of us today. The burning buildings, people walking around full of ash and dirt, the planes hitting, the fires, people running for their lives down New York streets as the towers collapsed. I moved along from the silent crowd and went into my next class, manual drafting.
Everyone in this room knew each other and were all talking about the morning. Our teacher came in, really nice grad student teacher, and she said something like, "I know everyone is talking about this mornings events. I know that's probably what you all want to talk about so we can for a few minutes and then let's get to work." I remember people all raising their hands and wanting to share something. I talked about how I had heard that the attackers chose 9-11 to attack because it was mocking our emergency system phone numbers. Then we did a normal lesson plan. Afterwards, the students and I talked about how strange it was that she seemed to want to avoid the topic all together. It was very hard to concentrate on school work that day. I remember a couple days later when I had that class again, the teacher had apologized to all of us. She said that morning, she hadn't seen any of the footage before class. Her exact words were, "I didn't understand." She explained she saw what happened much later on that day and felt the same way the rest of us did, probably. She then devoted that entire hour and a half class to talking about 9-11 without any school work. I also found out days later that Pepe's sister was unharmed and I was glad.
On September 11th, I don't remember what I did after that class, it was the last one of two I had had on Tuesdays, so I knew I must've just drove home. I don't remember that drive at all. I remember being home in the afternoon and watching tv with my mom again. I knew I learned of the Pennsylvania plane crash somehow, but not when during that day. I just couldn't stop watching the television. Seeing image, after horrible image, video after video of the planes striking the towers and their eventual collapse. I still could not believe this was happening. Reporters were estimating that maybe tens of thousands of people were dead. I instantly recognized that everyone will remember where they were on this day just like in the 60's when JFK was shot. Just like in World War II or I for that matter, how devastated those people must've felt. How lonely and scared they all must've felt before I had that same horrible feeling on 09-11-2001. I thought, this is my generation's most terrible moment in history, our Pearl Harbor. I remember my dad getting home from work, the first time I had seen him all day. My mom ran to him and started crying. I remember my dad saying all this stuff on tv looks like some bad movie, meaning, it just doesn't look real, it can't really be happening. We watched tv all night, including the presidents speech that night. I wondered how they would ever find out who did this? How would they punish them? How that wasn't enough now. Our country has changed, thousands of innocent people are dead, millions of people are affected, our financial system is crippled, our national defense building is torn open with more people dead, there's a hole in the ground in a field in Pennsylvania where a jet liner full of innocent people perished trying to be heroes and doing the unthinkable. How would punishing whoever was to blame make things any better?
I went to bed that night and laid awake for a while even though I had a busy next day ahead. I just cried. I felt heartbroken like that for 3 solid days after 9-11. I walked around school feeling like my heart had been ripped right out of me. At that point in my life I had only had one boyfriend. I fell in love with him right before he dumped me. This is what that feeling was like, that's the only way I had to describe it at the time. Heartbroken is still the best term for how I felt. Even though I knew no one killed, never been to any of the places that were attacked, I was heartbroken, still am heartbroken over all of it.
The days after I remember seeing huge HUGE American flags everywhere. The one I was the most proud of was one on Bell Road, down by the auto dealerships. I can't remember which one exactly, but the biggest possible flag and flag pole you can own, they had. They had always had it up, mostly to stand out from all the other dealerships and to get attention from the street. But today, it was billowing out full in the wind. Maybe 60 feet long and 30 feet high. You can see it from a mile down the road. It was beautiful to me. I sat in traffic for minute and looked at it and cried a little bit. Someone cut me off in traffic that day and it was no big deal to me. Oh well.
I know it stayed that way for a while. People all wanted to band together, to help each other out. Little things that had annoyed me in the past were now no big deal. Months go by, years go by. Every year I would spend a little time thinking about it, watching the memorials on tv, crying, hurting, remembering. But people got back to their lives, granted things are different now in all aspects of life. The airports, airplanes, homeland security, terrorists, everyone is at risk, no one is safe.......Bin Laden is dead, but it doesn't change anything to me. I'm glad he's dead, couldn't be happier about that fact, though I wished he would've been tortured and abused for years before being allowed to die. He got off way too easy and I hope he's rotting in some sort of Hell for all eternity for what he did.
Anyway, the world has changed and I hate to fly. It used to be fun, but now it's a stressful chore. I remember that a clinical psychologist said that even if you had nothing to do with 9-11, only saw things through tv, that we could still all suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I think that's partially true for me. Sometimes, when I hear planes get a little too low to my house, or loud engines are heard, I sometimes think of 9-11, the images of the planes hitting flashes into my mind and my heart beats a little faster. Even sometimes when the planes aren't low, they are just flying way off in the sky I think of planes crashing, or destruction and death. Not all the time, but sometimes, and I know I never thought those things before. I hated to fly before just from the off chance of crashing, but since then, I've had to fly a lot more than I would like, and I hate it now, more than ever. I think of crashing into buildings in a plane at the hands of terrorists.
We, as a society have come to accept our new reality, our vulnerabilities as a nation. We've come to learn to deal with terrorism as an everyday possibility, and the reduced level of personal privacy. I for one don't think security increases at airports around the country make us any safer. I think it's maximum public humiliation for minimal safety gains. I know people who argue, "but we're safer now, TSA has to do what they do."
Here's the bottom line. A lot of other countries hate us, hate our freedoms, hate our policies, hate our state of mind. Some of these countries hate is well founded I think, others, not so much. Regardless, if another country wants to terrorize us and attack, they will find a way. They always find a way. Look at how effective Osama Bin Laden's attacks were. They were well thought out, and from a terrorism point of view, the attacks were brilliant. Think about this (whether these are facts or my own speculations):
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When you have an emergency in this country, you call 9-1-1, other countries use different numbers if they have any emergency numbers to call at all.
The attacks happen on September 11, 2001 or 9-1-1.
This mocks our emergency response system.
-----------------------------------------
They used jumbo airliners full of innocent people as weapons of mass destruction. The terrorists did not need weapons other than small utility knives that were perfectly acceptable according to FAA standards back then. And they only needed those to kill the pilots or anyone else who got in their way on the plane. Who needs to carry a bomb on a plane when the plane is the only bomb you need to make a statement to the United States. The terrorists were all clean shaven, dressed in typical Western world attire. They picked their seats on the plane strategically for the best control of the people and access to the cockpit. They arranged for about 4-5 terrorists per flight to work as a team.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
They struck national symbols. The Pentagon where our nations defenses are headquartered. The World Trade Centers where our financial headquarters are (wall street trading) and the final plane was headed for either the United States Capitol or the White House. The final destination has never been confirmed and I don't think anyone will ever know which target was the intended one. I think the White House is unlikely granted that the president was in Florida that morning. I'm sure the terrorists would have been aware of that, but still, had either one of those landmarks been destroyed it would have been another big symbol of the United States gone and the psychological damage even higher still.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
They choose the World Trade Centers not only for their financial domination over the entire country, but also because they were the tallest structures in the skyline. Easier to hit with a jumbo jet, lots and lots of people inside both towers, and lots of people near them on the ground as well. The terrorists knew lots of tourists are in that area and there would be lots of cameras and camcorders to record what they had done.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
They taught their terrorists how to fly a plane of that size, as well as make them as Western as possible, as well as studying the blueprints of the Towers. Those towers were never built to withstand that kind of attack, and they used this to their advantage. The initial blow of the airplane striking the building caused the fireproofing foam to break off of the reinforcing steel inside the core of the building. The jet fuel melted the exposed steel and the buildings collapsed.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
So, in other words, they were very well prepared for this and we were grossly under prepared and overly confident something like this would never happen. Much too much arrogant.
10 Years Later
So here we are, a whole decade later and what as a society have we learned? Not a lot it seems. I remember last year when I woke up on 9-11, I had actually forgotten all together what that day was. I was going about my business and only when I caught my husband watching a college football game did they do a little tribute/remembrance of 9-11. I thought, how bizarre, let's remember the tragedy by playing a meaningless game of football. I know, I know, life is supposed to be lived and enjoyed especially knowing it's short. Live life to the fullest everyday you can and enjoy it, yes, I know that, but still. It just bothers me a little bit to see so many people together for a football game pretend to be remembering this terrible event for a moment, and then, okkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk footballllllllllllllllllllllllllllll yeah! Strange to me.
On the following 9-11's I've basically just did what I had to - work, school, errands, whatever I needed to that day, but sometime, on my own, I would remember, as I will this year too. A moment alone to think, and remember how I felt, what happened, how many good people were lost, how I hope the bastards that were all responsible are suffering greatly in life and after in death. That's all I need. I talk to my loved ones as I always do to make sure they are ok and in good health.
But on days that are not 9-11, I think the country forgets, even though, they said they wouldn't, that they would never forget. Road rage happens, murders, child molestations, drug deals, all of us, all of the worst, all of it happens all the time, and we've forgotten to be trusting, to be gentle, to be respectful and nice. Society is back to what it was before all of this, as far as our behaviors are concerned. I know not all of us are this way, but it seems the vast majority has forgotten and moved on.
Even myself. Little things annoy me on a regular basis again. I get mad when people cut me off in traffic, I lose my patience with people. I think it's just natural, or human nature. You can't sit and think of such a horrible thing all the time, that's not healthy. A little time to reflect once a year is all I need to honor it in my own way. I think about it here and there every so often, every year, and I try to be respectful of those lost, and of the beautiful structures we lost that day. I don't constantly need to focus on 9-11, but I'll never forget how I felt that day. It will always be with me, even if it's not at the surface.
A Moment of Silence
(for the lost) note: hijackers are noted only for actual numbers, not honoring them.
United Airlines Flight 93 crashed into a field near Shanksville, Pennsylvania during a struggle for passengers to regain control over the plane.
44 dead including 4 hijackers
American Airlines Flight 11 crashed into the North Tower of the World Trade Center
92 dead including 5 hijackers
approximately 1,600 dead at the north tower including jumpers and emergency workers.
United Airlines Flight 175 crashed into the South Tower of the World Trade Center
65 dead including 5 hijackers
approximately 900 dead at the south tower including jumpers and emergency workers
Note: This is the only flight seen live around the world, to crash and when we realized this was not an accident, but a planned attack. The people sitting on the left hand side of the plane would've seen the north tower already on fire as they approached and realized before impact that they were about to crash into the building.
American Airlines Flight 77 crashed into The Pentagon
64 dead including 5 hijackers
125 dead on the ground
It's been said that the true number of people lost on this day is impossible to know for sure. I've read anywhere from 2,750 to 2,977, not including the 19 suicidal hijackers. There are bodies that were vaporized as the towers came down and identifying all the people is simply not possible. Only 289 bodies were identified and described as "intact". I'm assuming "intact" here means that somehow they were able to be identified easily, but not whole. 19,858 body parts were found and 1,122 people out of the known people dead are still not identified. There is a medical examiner who is still working this. They will also have the remains that are currently in storage moved to behind the 9/11 memorial in New York to continue DNA testing and hope that in the future, better technology will help the process along. Some of the remains are only bone fragments and very small pieces.
It is estimated that near 6,000 people were able to escape the North Tower. I've heard no estimates on the South Tower, but I know that some people started to evacuate this building after the North Tower was hit.
I have thought, countless times, of the possibility of somehow travelling back in time before the attacks. Of alerting the right people who could stop the hijackers before they ever got near the airplanes. No one would die that day, no buildings would be destroyed, no planes would crash. How wonderful that would be to thwart the plans of Bin Laden, save all those people and structures. How wonderful it would be, and I wish somehow it was possible....even though they would probably think somehow I was in on it and I'd be punished or killed for helping to stop the most terrible and vicious terror attack on the U.S. I still wish I could go back and change all of it.
Images
There are some beautiful images I wanted to leave you with instead of iconic tragic ones that we have all seen a million times before in what seems like a long time ago and yesterday at the same time.
 |
| Twisted steel at the Hudson River Memorial Site |
 |
| Everyone has seen this image. It's called Tribute in Lights as seen from Jersey City. 88 searchlights are in the footprints of the two World Trade Centers. I think this was a beautiful way to remember. |
 |
| But, have you ever seen images of it up close? This photo was just taken in 2009 as visitors stand near it. |
 |
| Another view of Tribute in Lights from 2009 |
 |
| This is the Pentagon in 2008 on the first night that the park and memorial were dedicated |
 |
| Lights illuminate 184 benches at the memorial. Each one represents someone who was killed on Flight 77 or in the Pentagon. Each bench also has water underneath it that can be seen during the day. |
 |
| This is a bronze statue titled "To the Struggle Against World Terrorism". A gift from Russia seen here on it's dedication in 2006 at Bayonne, New Jersey. It is 100 feet tall and features a 40 foot tall teardrop in the center. This is a powerful and touching memorial. |
 |
| This is the new One World Trade Center illuminated in red, white, and blue for President Obama coming to visit after the death of Osama Bin Laden was announced on May 2, 2011. The first 15 floors are windowless to prevent damage from car bombs at street level. |
So now that I've shared my personal memory of September 11, 2001, with you, I would like to hear from you. The comment box is much too small for a long story, so if you'd like to share a longer story than that box allows, please email me with your story and I will post it here in its entirety in a following post.
All I can end with is I hope everyday for peace on Earth and that we all find a way to live and let live.
Peace be with you my friends.
No comments:
Post a Comment