Dear John

Released: 2010
This is supposed to be a romance
Starring: Amanda Seyfried, Channing Tatum
Director: Lasse Hallstrom
Running Time: 108 minutes

The breakdown:  This was based on a 2006 novel by Nicholas Sparks.  I really liked his book Message in a Bottle, but not so much the movie version.  I wasn't sure I would like this.


A college student (Seyfried) is vacationing in a coastal town when she happens upon a military man (Tatum) on leave.  They hit it off and begin hanging out a lot.  Soon, I think like a week later, he has to go back to the military and she has to go back to school.  They very much like each other (even though there's absolutely zero chemistry between them) and keep in touch through letters (the old fashioned hand written in a snail mail envelope kind).  She's looking forward to him coming home from the war (Iraq I think), but then 9-11 happens and he re-enlists like a dork, even though she's waiting for him.  In the end, she gets tired of waiting and marries this older handicap guy that she doesn't really love.  I think she felt sorry for him.  Anyway (SPOILER! DON'T READ ANY FURTHER UNLESS YOU WANT TO WASTE YOUR TIME AND SEE THIS FILM!)
her handicap boring husband dies and the military guy's father gets really sick and dies, so he comes home for good.  They end up seeing each other by chance at a coffee house at the end of the movie and start talking.
I can only hope this means that they agree over a cup of coffee that they will never make another boring "romantic" movie together again or independently.
Where oh where do I start?
First off, it looks like Nicholas Sparks wrote a really good novel with Message in a Bottle and then it was all downhill from there.  The movie version, I disliked.  The book for this movie I've never read, but from the movie, it sounds really slow paced and extremely uninteresting.
The lead female character waits around for years (7 total I think) for a man to get out of the military that she essentially has only had a few weeks time in person with?  She married a handicap man out of pity, that is much older than her and he has a kid from a previous relationship for her to take care of after he dies?
The military guy re-enlists on 9-11 out of emotion instead of thinking his situation through and remembering there's this girl he really wants to be with back in the states?
I'm sorry but most of these situations are not believable and/or interesting.  I understand being proud of being in the military and serving your country, but I think he was due to leave soon before 9-11 happened (meaning he had served at least 4 years already and that's a lot more than any of us have ever served) and with this "great" girl waiting for him back home, he didn't think to check with her first to see if she approved at least?
There's no real drama here, there's certainly no chemistry or fireworks between the so-called "love birds" and there's no reason at all to waste your time and watch this movie.  Take it from me, it's very very forgettable.  Even this Channing Tatum guy that I've heard so much about, he's supposed to be hot or attractive, nope, not even for a second to me.  He's all yours ladies.  Give me Christian Bale for some real HEAT! Grrrrrrr!

I give it my worst rating ever - a 0 out of 5 ticket stubs because there's just nothing good here.